Dear Idiot,
Hi. How are you?
I hope you're fantastic.
I hope everything in your life is perfect.
Why??
Because the higher you are, the harder you fall.
And baby, I can't wait to see you crash and burn.
I made you my everything.
I neglected people I cared about,
People that actually gave a damn about me,
because of you.
I was NOTHING to you.
You kept me around just to screw with me, then throw me to the side.
You used me. You knew I'd let you take advantage of me like you did.
But you didn't care.
Yeah, it's my fault too... I get that.
But it's yours too.
And I hope it bugs the hell out of you that I haven't come crawling back.
I hope it bugs you that I'm not as weak as you think I am.
Rrggg...
I hate it because I'm sitting here writing this for basically no one to see.
You still have an effect on me. Pathetic? Yes.

I don't miss you.
Rather, I don't miss the you you are now.
I miss the you you were.
And I know that's still you... somewhere.
You used to have feelings, and tell me everything.
Now you're stone cold and can't even make eye contact with me.
Crazy.
I could really write an entire book on who you are versus who you were,
but that's pointless.
This whole rant is pointless,
you'll never see it...
and even if you did,
Would it mean anything to you?
Doubtful.

Okay, I overreacted.
Not everyone leaves.
A lot of people leave,
But then people you consider "better" come in and take their place.
That is, until they fuck up, and you're crying your eyes out wondering if "better" was ever really better at all.
Rinse and repeat.
It sucks, but it's life, and life really is all we have.
So it doesn't make sense to mope about everything,
or to get caught up in every single detail,
because then you're just wasting the only thing you have.

I don't trust.
Everyone leaves.
End of story.

So honestly, right now, at this moment,
I'm waiting for the shit to hit the fan.
You're going to get hurt.
Like major hurt.
And like always I'm going to be there to pick up the pieces.
I'm not complaining, though.
It's always nice to be needed,
loved.

God I hate this.
I wish you could see that she's playing you like a Vegas dealer.
But you can't,
you won't ever admit it.
You'll get caught up in that fairy-tale love song that's continuously playing in your head,
and not notice that guy that's always hanging around you're girl.
I love you, but you're stupid.
And you're gonna get your heart broken.
Maybe you deserve it,
but I can't bring myself to think that.
I wish I could tell you how amazing you are.
I wish that you'd believe me, even if I did tell you.
I wish that for one day, you could see yourself through my eyes, and then you'd know how special you really are to me.

*sigh*
Whatever.
Dueces ♥

My mind has a cramp.
I can't think right.
Whenever I go to say something, I fail.
Everyday,
I become more and more like the person I told myself I wouldn't be.
I'm becoming a shallow, shameless, teenage girl.
I feel myself judging people very quickly.
That's not me.
I don't know where this heinous bitch came from, but she needs to go the hell away.
This isn't me.
I may be apathetic and sarcastic and blunt,
But I've never been one to judge.
I hate judgmental people.
Why am I being like this?
Can jealousy really lead a person to be like this?



I guess so.