Life is unexplainable.
It's fragile and ever-changing.
It can't be defined by putting words onto a page or in casual conversation.
Life can only be defined if you truly live it.
Put action together with all the wims and fantasies that go on inside your head and you get life.
You get to live.
Do what you want when the world tells you no.
Do the wrong thing just because it's fun.
Take a "left turn" vacation and see where you end up.
It sounds so cliche, but I think it's true.

Ignorant stupidity = high school.

Everyday.
People are stupid.
I'm included in this, too. Don't get me wrong.
But honestly, I'm not as stupid as some of the people that go to my school.
It's not immaturity because EVERYONE'S immature in high school.
I'm used to it.

It's just...
Ignorant stupidity.
The same question being asked over and over.
Asking "which one?" when there's another person in the class with the same name. (The teacher goes in alphabetical order, really?)
Just little things like that.
It's bugs the piss out of me.


All right. I'm done.
Deuces ♥

The weather.
I know, that was a sentence fragment, but I don't care.

I love the weather right now.
It feels like autumn.
It feels like the leaves could be bright orange as soon as I wake up in the morning.
I'd honestly be okay with that.

I'm always happier in the fall.
New school year, new beginnings.
Friday night football games.
The colors make me feel amazing.
Plus it's not hot.
Big plus!


I walked out of my house this morning and I had an instant happy feeling.
It was overcast and chilly.
Just how I would order my days if it were possible to order days at subway or something...
Haha.
Whatever.
Toodles :D

I don't want to grow up.
Or...
I don't want to grow up yet.

I really want to know why people want teenagers to grow up so fast.
Are we really that horrible that you have to change us??
We have our whole lives ahead of us to be an adult.
But you still try to teach us all of life's lessons in a four year period of time.
I hate it.
I want to be a teenager because that's what I am.
I don't want a medocre job because It'll teach me responsibility.
I know how to be responisble. I just choose not to be a lot of the time because I'm a teenager.
This is my time to screw stuff up, cry about stuff that won't matter in two days, and figure things out for myself.
So stop trying to tell me that you know everything.
Stop trying to make me grow up.
And stop giving me crap about being irresponsible.
I'm a teenager.
I won't listen to you anyway.

Do you ever wish you were seven years old again?
Things are simple when you're seven.
You have almost zero responsiblillities and your parents still treat you like you're the only thing in the world that matters to them.
When you're seven, your world is still small.
Most everything you see is new, fascinating, wonderful.
Everyday you learn something.
You're innocent.
You're still cute.
And you don't see the bad things that happen daily all over the earth.
The only thing you need to make you happy is a bucket full of candy and a hug from your mommy.
Things are simple when you're seven....

But soon, you're eight.
Then nine.
10, 11, 12.

And thirteen slaps you across the face.
You're considered a teenager. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're on top of the world because you're finally thirteen.
But you're still a kid.
You still cry. But you cry for different reasons.
Your world isn't as small as it was, you know that people suffer, but you really don't understand.
Your parents trust you to do more things, but not nearly as much as you want.
And you're stuck.
You're only thirteen.

Two years later, you're stuck at fifteen.
You're a sophomore in highschool.
The only world you know, revolves around you.
You're fully aware of the way others suffer.
But you don't care.
Because you're fifteen.
You have to focus on you.
That's what society has taught us, right?
You are the most important in your life.
Is that wrong?
The answer is yes. It's completely wrong.
You're fifteen.
You're still creating yourself. You're trying to find out where you stand and what you're going to fight for.
You're realizing that people don't have respect for you.
Maybe, you're even realizing that most people don't have respect for anyone.
When you're fifteen, you're pulled in two directions.
Everyone wants you to grow up, but you want to stay a kid. You want to be seven.


Maybe that's where we get our teenage angst.
We get a taste of what we think the real world is, selfish people, doing selfish things.
We don't want to face the ignorance, arrogance, and selfishness that exist beyond the walls of our houses, so we become bitter.
We want, more then anything, to go back to simple. To go back to seven.

There isn't any heartache, the whole world seems happy, and life just seems like it'll go on forever.

Seven.

Summer, summer, summer.
I don't know how I feel about it ending.
I'm excited for many things the new year has in store, but I'm also scared that I'm not going to do well in my classes.
I just don't know.
But I'll get through it like I always do. :)
I hope.

It's funny, most people are worried about whether or not their going to fit in or if their teachers hate them.
I guess I'm worried about that too, but I'm wayyy more worried about my grades.
I'm kind of already screwed because I haven't really done my summer assignments to my full potential.
That's my mistake I guess.
I feel like I'll do better once the year actually starts.
This blog isn't really full of anything insightful, is it?
In fact, it's written really poorly too.
But I kinda just use it as a journal/diary.
I don't think a lot of people read it anyways. Ha.
It's whatever, I'm bored and tired and i didn't know what else to do.
Mmk, bye ♥

I believe some things have to be believed to be seen.

I believe if you act like you're happy long enough, eventually you really will be happy.

I believe a person's a person no matter how small.

I believe words can hurt worse then sticks and stones.

I believe the world sucks, but you have to have the bad to appreciate the good.

I believe in God.

I believe that you are your worst enemy.

I don't believe that there is good in everyone.

I believe that everyone deserves love.

I don't believe the universe owes anyone anything.

I believe in luck.

I believe a smile can help someone through the day.

I believe that anyone can change the world for the worse, but it takes a special person to change the world for the better.

I don't believe in the disease A.D.D. It's just an excuse. You could pay attention if you tried. You just don't try.

I believe in myself.

I believe that everyone is selfish, even if it's just the slightest amount.

I believe everyone is equal, but no one's the same.

Okay, so.
I need to stop procrastinating.
It's the only way I'm going to survive my sophomore year, considering I over loaded my schedule with difficult classes.
I even read a book on ways to stop procrastinating, but I still procrastinate.
It's horrible really.

Other then that, I'm looking forward to the new school year.
I look forward to learning new things and meeting new people.
I get happy just thinking about it. :D

I'll probably start to miss summer about two weeks into the year though.
But whatever, we'll see.
For now, I'm excited :)

As I sit here and watch my little cousin play video games, I realize how totally pointless, mindless and unrealistic they are.

I hate video games.
I really think they're pointless.
Seriously, when you can smash a flower pot and get gold coins in return, it's gone too far.
Life doesn't work that way.
Destruction doesn't equal money.

Unless you're like, a professional carpenter, getting paid to tear down a house or something.

I don't know.
This blog was pointless.
Toodles ♥

I'm going against all my morals.
Right here, and right now, I am going to write a depressing, complainy, stupid high school type blog.
Yeah, I know. I should have the word "hypocrite" stamped on my forehead, but that's all right. :)
The point:
I hate you.
Words, no matter how strong, can express how much hatred I harbor towards you, your actions, and your face.
This however, is not the complicated part.
I also care about you.
In the words of Three Days Grace "I hate everything about you, why do I love you?"
Now, the shit gets thick.
Up until now, I have always said, "I want you to be happy, even if it means that I'm unhappy."
And up until now, I've meant it.
In all honesty, I HAVE meant it.
But now, not so much.

Now, I think you're stupid, naive, and way to horny for your own good.
Right now, at 10:04 PM I can whole-heartedly say:
I want you to get your heart broken.
I want her words to cut into you like daggers, like your words have done to me.
I want you to have to lay in bed, screaming into your pillow, wondering how, when, and why it got so messed up.
I want you to think that you're not good enough, that you could never be good enough.


But most of all, I want to see your name light up my phone, I wanna see your face on the tiny screen and finally be able to hit the ignore button, knowing that your hurting just as bad as you once hurt me.


So here's to you jackass,
You've made me feel like a complete wreck, time and time again.
Now it's your turn.
Love you!
Alison

You know, I love to watch the rain.
It's so predictable, and unpredicatable at the same time.
Everyone knows that when a raindrop starts to fall, it'll eventually hit the ground.
But you can't predict which way the wind is going to blow that raindrop before it finally comes tumbling down to the ground, becoming part of a glorious puddle. :)

That's a lot like life.
We're all gonna wind up in the same place, buried somewhere in a box, hoping our memory lives on forever.
But we have no idea where the wind is going to blow us in the meantime.
Everyone worries about it, too.
No one knows where they're going next, so they decide to stress about it.
Maybe that's not what we're supposed to do.
Do you think the rain ever stops falling to ask the wind "Where the hell are you taking me?"
I don't.
I don't think we're supposed to know where we're going until we get there.
Because if we know, then we stop asking, and if we stop asking, we don't figure anything out.
So you can yell at me and tell me to plan out my retirement before I reach my senior year in high school, and maybe I'll listen.
But odds are, I'm just gonna nod my head, smile, and look past your shoulder, into the gorgeous rain falling to the ground outside. ♥

I wish I had something profound to say. Something that would make the world go, "Wow, this chick knows what's up!"

Actually, I wish I had something moderately interesting to say that would make a couple people go, "Haha, yeah!"

But alas, this hasn't really been going well for me lately. I'm not a quiet person, but I feel like I've been abnormally quiet.
Maybe I haven't had anything to say.
Maybe I just haven't said anything worth remembering, so I only think I've been abnormally quiet.

It's weird, but it makes sense.
My life experience meter is stuck at about 9.2% and I don't foresee anything that could even possibly change that.
Except college, but that's still three years away and I don't want to sit around with my naked face hanging out in plain, boring, silence. Yuck.

There's probably a reason for this, for my lack of ability in saying things that are either intelligent, humorous, or otherwise interesting, right?

God probably just wanted me to shut up and listen to what everyone else is saying, instead of running my mouth a mile a minute, hoping to hit on something that makes someone say, "Haha, yeah!". He slapped me across the face with his magical "shut up and listen" stick. (You know he has one, right next to his "ugly stick" and his "OMG get off your ass stick." I've been hit with all three at some point, but that's another story (;)

Clearly, I'm not going to solve this by blogging, but it helps, right?
Dueces ♥

You know, I wanna tell the world our story.
The story of me and this kid.
Maybe it's a normal story.
Average. Mundane. Boring.
Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl.
Girl falls for boy. Boy doesn't fall back.
Classic.
But maybe this isn't a normal story.
Because in a normal story, the girl either
A) Gets over it
B) Finds someone else to fall in love with
or
C) Dies

Nice right?
In my story, the answer is Q) none of the above.

The girl falls, and falls, and falls so far without telling anyone, without getting anywhere, that she gets stuck.
However, this isn't a sad story.
The girl and the boy become best friends.
They talk all the time, they understand each other better then anyone else.
They fight. Almost constantly. They disagree with anything the other person says, but they both know, no matter what happens, the other is always there when something major goes wrong.
And they laugh together, a lot. There's more then enough memories to last a lifetime.
So why, you ask, doesn't the boy fall as hard as the girl?
God only knows.

Is the girl upset? Only occasionally.
Does the boy know? Mhm.
Is anything ever going to change? Maybe, down the line.



See, I'm not bitter about any of this. I just think it's interesting.
I don't get upset about it often, high school isn't a place to look for love.
Maybe things will change, but I doubt it.
Maybe life will offer me options A, B or C instead.
Who knows...
For now, I'll just live on. ♥

Dear Mr. Blog,
I've missed you.
I haven't been able to blog in five days!!
What a tragedy that my three readers have had nothing from me to read in those long, treturous, five days!!
Bahaha, sike!

I went on vacation, forty five minutes away from where I normally live, to a place that I go to at least once a summer.
It's a beautiful place, full of trees, hills and sooo many flowers!
I had no cell phone reception.
The verizon network has monopolized that whole area, but that's a different story.
I kind of missed it, only because I couldn't talk to my friends, but it was really freeing!
I wasn't hooked to the internet non-stop so I could actually witness what was going on around me, instead of looking for the next facebook official make-up/break-up.

My best friend went with me.
Annnddd, we pretty much did nothing.
But it was a good time, and I'm glad I went.

So, Mr. Blog, have a good rest of the day.
Peace ♥