I'm not happy here.
I hate it here.
The longer I stay here, the more frustrated I get.
I want out.
I can't stay here for another year.
I won't.
I've never wanted anything more than to get away from here at this very moment.
It seems like I've lost the ability to feel anything besides anger at the fact that I can't feel anything.
I'm not happy.
I'm tired of being told that I can't have the things that I want.
That I'm selfish.
I push people away.
I don't understand anything.
Fuck this.
Fuck feeling sorry for myself.
You're telling me that I worked my ass off to get good grades just so that I could go to Columbus State?
Are you kidding me?
Are you actually shitting all over the work that I've done?
Fuck you.
I hate it here.
The longer I stay here, the more frustrated I get.
I want out.
I can't stay here for another year.
I won't.
I've never wanted anything more than to get away from here at this very moment.
It seems like I've lost the ability to feel anything besides anger at the fact that I can't feel anything.
I'm not happy.
I'm tired of being told that I can't have the things that I want.
That I'm selfish.
I push people away.
I don't understand anything.
Fuck this.
Fuck feeling sorry for myself.
You're telling me that I worked my ass off to get good grades just so that I could go to Columbus State?
Are you kidding me?
Are you actually shitting all over the work that I've done?
Fuck you.
The more I think about it, the more I decide that I'm ready.
My heart is happy to know that change is coming,
because I haven't been able to feel much of anything in this place lately.
I'm not sad.
Please don't think I'm sad.
I just don't have the energy to feel for a place that never gives me anything new to acknowledge.
I'm hoping that when I come back after being gone for awhile I will feel things here again.
Because this place isn't bad,
I've just been here too long.
People ask me why I want to go to the University of Findlay.
Every letter that I have I gotten \from them has had my address hand-written on it.
A computer didn't send me those pieces of mail; a person did.
They even sent me a hand-written holiday card.
They don't have to do that.
I'm not just a another student to them.
I'm an individual.
That says a lot to me.
Every letter that I have I gotten \from them has had my address hand-written on it.
A computer didn't send me those pieces of mail; a person did.
They even sent me a hand-written holiday card.
They don't have to do that.
I'm not just a another student to them.
I'm an individual.
That says a lot to me.
And I'm happy.
I can't make time speed up, no matter how much I want it to.
And just to clarify,
I'm completely happy. My life is wonderful.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'm just done here.
So I'll just sit on my laptop, watch YouTube videos, refresh my twitter feed and wait for something bigger to happen.
