There are things that you do that bug the shit out of me.
For example, looking straight at me, then walking right past me without any acknowledgement.
I just don't understand that.
Sometimes, I just want to grab you by the face and say, "Hey. I'm the girl that takes all your shit when I really don't have to, and you're being a douche-bag!"

But I love talking to you,
And listening to you.
There was a moment, a week or so ago, where you were talking to me.
I don't remember what you were saying,
But I remember laying there, thinking that you were beautiful,
And that I was lucky to have you in my life.

People have told me that I'm lucky to have you in my life as a best friend, that I get the best of both worlds.
And maybe that's true.
I know you in a way that other people don't, which I suppose is a good thing.
You have never taken advantage of my feelings.
And while that's frustrating at times, it is probably for the best.
But still,
I can't help but love you.
It's like it's hardwired in my DNA.
I sit and get myself worked into a tizzy
And cry,
And yell,
And tell myself I'm done, that I won't ever speak to you again...

Then you laugh at my jokes,
Or you send me a nice picture,
Or you tell me you love me,
And we're back at square fucking one.

I guess other people don't get it.
Yeah, I am lucky.
But it's also hard.
It's hard to go in to school everyday and know that in some way or another,
I'm going to get rejected.

I'm not complaining, though.
That's the consequence of my choice to stay by you.
The positives outweigh the negatives.
At least for today...